A Warm Bed and a Restless Mind

I lay in my warm bed half awake as I hear the alarm go off.  I take a deep breath and crawl further under the covers.  In these moments I lay there in the peace and quiet and hear God speak softly to my heart.  And my heart is desperate for God to speak and give me a new perspective on just about everything.  Lately my mind and heart have been so restless.  I long so deeply for free time and the chance to finally do what I love on a daily basis that it has begun to take its toll on my spirit, my attitude, my relationships and just about everything else.  My sweet husband tries to help and I love him for it but but the restlessness continues. 
So, like a good counselor, I reflect on all the things that could be causing this problem.  I pray.  I talk.  I sit in silence.  I talk to my husband.  I talk to my mom.  I even talk to myself.  I cry.  I eat.  I shop (much to my husband's frustration!).  Yet, here I sit restless.  I know we all go through seasons where we want to be somewhere else and there is nothing we can do about it.  But how do we deal with this impatience that begins to puncture a relatively healthy mindset?  I guess the answer lies in the question.  Christ said that he gives us peace, but not as the world gives it.  So if he gives us peace that looks different than the peace of the world then we cannot seek it the way we do everything else.  I often find myself seeking God for answers and at this time there really are no answers to be had.  I am in a time of waiting and I must walk through it.  So I must now seek God simply for who he is.  As my wise husband once said, " I hope you didn't marry me for what I can give you, I hope you married me because you love me and want to be with my always.  That is how we should see God."  Wise man my husband, what he was saying is that I must seek God to simply sit in the joy of his presence and the beauty of being near him. 

So today I woke up and breathed a deep sigh of relief.  I layed in my warm bed and cried out for God to change my heart and give me his perspective and most of all his presence. I got up and got dressed in the beautiful silence of God's presence.  I walked outside and smelled the fresh spring air.  The unrest still lingers but I ask God to speak to my heart and quiet my mind.  To give the peace that only he can give.  My circumstances will be no different today.  I will go to class and move one day closer to graduation.  But I believe that my mind must be in a better place because right now I hear God's voice above all the noises that fill my day and his peace surpasses my understanding.  You see unlike the world's temporary peace God's peace is complete and perfect.