We all have those days. You know the ones I am talking about. You feel lonely. You feel like you cannot do anything right. You feel like you cannot say anything right. You are unsure of every action. Afraid that you will do something wrong. Like all you want to do is crawl under the covers and sleep and start all over tomorrow. Sure, these days usually coinside with my hormones but none the less it is days like this that I feel the presence of my savior the most. I curl up in a ball, pull the covers over my head and wait. And it is in the quiet place I hear him speak healing into the pain. Today was Easter. I love Easter so much. We celebrate something the world says is impossible. Christ died and rose again. He overcame sin and death. Today in his sermon my pastor spoke of the horrible pain that he endured but also the pain and dispair that his disciples and followers felt when he died. They felt lost and abandoned. Their grief was almost unbearable. It must have been the worst 3 days of their lives. Their entire lives were turned upside down and their heart was not just broken, it was crushed. They must have thought they would never know joy again. And just when they thought they could not bear it another minute.....he rose.
There have been days and even weeks in my life I was just certian I would not recover from a deep emotional wound that I received. I walked around like a zombie barely registering what was happening around me. And then one day I would wake up to the whispers of my sweet Savior. He would speak right into the pain and bring healing in the way only he can. My Jesus heals wounds in such a way that we are able to look back at the scars and find beauty within them. As I look back at the many scars I have accumulated over the years I see the way my sweet heavenly Father was breaking down all my walls, tearing down my hard fought pride, and removing my heart of stone. God uses our pain to mold us into the beautiful image of his son. In order to look like Jesus we must go through a great deal of pain. In the world pain produces anger, bitterness, resentment and vindictivness. Isn't it amazing that pain for the believer produces such beautiful things. We cannot live as though we have no hope. When we are broken Christ uses those times to show us that through him we will rise again.
So the next time I find myself wallowing in self pity no matter how much I feel like I deserve to sit in my pain I will remember that I have hope. I have a Savior that not only hurt and suffered but overcame in a way that ensured that we would be able to overcome any hurt and suffering we go through. As my pastor said this morning: the worst day in history and the best day in history were only a day apart. So the next time I have one of those days I will go to a quiet place, pull the covers over my head and cry knowing that in this pain there is hope. And from this pain I will be renewed and most of all....I will rise. And so will you.
